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What's Up With the Kool-Aid Guy?

Posted by Jason Labels:

Seriously now, what's up with the Kool-Aid Guy? (Yes, that is us restating the title exactly.)

Basic Background Information:
Lets see, he's a freaking pitcher filled with red liquid. Sometimes he's naked, and sometimes he wears jean shorts (So outta style) with an unbuttoned yellow shirt (Or possibly a yellow jacket, nobody knows for sure.)

http://www.fmft.net/Kool-AidMan.jpghttp://www.irvinehousingblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/kool_aid_man_waving.jpg
These are the two forms of the Kool-Aid Guy.

What He Does:
The Kool-Aid Guy has a great job. He runs around to find random children he can hang out with. When he spots his prey, he usually jumps in through a wall, breaking it. While he is jumping in the wall, he screams "Oh Yeah," (In a sexual manner, we believe.)


What's Up With Him?
If you guys can't figure out what's up with this sick, twisted pitcher from the above reading, then this might convince you.

He spells his first name which is pronounced "cool," like Kool. Seriously he doesn't even know how to spell. So if you see your child drinking Kool-Aid, stop them. Why you ask? Because your child is drinking the Kool-Aid Guy's body juices which probably include his urine.

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